went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
