Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
