how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize