Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
