i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
bring money and cleavage
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
