Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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