I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We have started to decorate penises.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
