I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize