I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I have demons in me.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
