i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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