So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
