I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
