Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
