We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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