I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
