And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
