Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
