At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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