Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
