Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize