Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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