Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
