i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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