The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
