K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
