his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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