who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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