So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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