Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
