p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
