She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
