I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize