chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I don't deserve a penis
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize