I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
