nut hugger
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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