Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
