He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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