When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
