The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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