Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am mentally ready for anal.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
