I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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