Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize