Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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