You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think I sprained my soul last night
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
