what day is it and did you see me today?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
