i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
