And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
