I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
