When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
