tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We are all done wearing pants today
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
