i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
