I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
