I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
