what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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