we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
