Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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