I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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