Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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