The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i dont even know how to be here
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Randomize
