I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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