I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
