Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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