They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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