just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
God I need to hump something, right now.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
