Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize