Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
