Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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