smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize