i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
