batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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