No more Irish car bombs ever.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
