ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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