Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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